cinnamon toast & tea please's Blog

blah blah blah

cinnamontoastandteaplease — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 11:15:46 +0000

back at uni this week, the great week is finally over. went to the airport to say a goodbye, kind of wondered what would have come of this if he didn’t live in usa. felt a little bummed catching the train home, went to visit amy at work and talked, and laughed and she made me feel 100% better. talked about our big plans, boys, girl stuff, diets. amy dropped me off at dad’s office and then i felt super grumpy quickly because all i had eaten today was a boost juice and another juice thing so i ate a chicken salad on the way home and felt a little better. all the lights in the houses looked cute and cosy and thought about a time when this familiar road from the city back home would be not so familiar, hopefully i get to experience living in another country soon. then dad and i went on a 9pm grocery trip then finally was ready to watch a movie drink a cup of tea and curl up in bed and listen to anberlin but no, i get a sneaky private number phone call from work to come in at 6am as i am a bad liar i said yes. i feel super exhausted and really want cuddles, something about cold weather brings on the neediness, i’ve been liking my attitute to things lately and how relaxed i’ve been feeling about boys, i think i’m maturing. bought a cute jacket today also, that lifted my spirits, it’s black and red tartan alice in wonderland jack and it came with a key and a little ‘A’ on the zipper. please forgive my lack of fullstopping and bad punctuation in this, i’m about to fall asleep.

soundwave and sunstroke 2010

cinnamontoastandteaplease — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 03:01:34 +0000

it took a lot out of me, but despite enduring the heat and dirt for 7 hours it was well worth it. you know it would be boring if i wrote everything here about every band because most were great.

being a long time fan of placebo i was pretty siked, i wish they placed more off black market music. him pissed me off heaps, ville valo is kind of like a god/hero/celebrity in certain subcultures, and it definitely took me back to vf days. i was surprised they weren’t more people at him but i guess soundwave isn’t really their target audience. i was also pretty much in shock at how skinny he was, he looked emaciated, but had a huge deep voice, which didn’t seem to quite match his stature. he is still a babe, and his finnish accent was incredible, not to mention his eccentricisms when he sings. although he did get the shits and walk off the stage before the end of the last song.

just quietly who the fuck are jane’s addiction? dave navarro is a dick. highlight of my day was when the singer said ‘i want to fuck soemone, i feel like a reptile, i want to knife someone, but i dont have a knife i have a mic, so shove this down your fucking throat’ and people thought he was amazing. it didn’t even make sense. fuck off and put your children to bed gramps. anyway, the day came and went so quickly, all that remains now is my totally uneven, ridiculous sunburn lines.

exploding colostomy bags & black dogs

cinnamontoastandteaplease — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 10:02:08 +0000

yes it all happened today at work. i wasn’t too phased by the first incident. but when a man was talking to someone standing next to me that was invisible and telling them they looked good today i freaked out, then the old chap started talking about seeing a black dog. if you know me, you know that i’m way fascinated by ghosts, omens, and generally anything scary including urban legends. i remembered reading about a black dog in a book of omens and knew it meant something bad. i just googled it then, apparently an apparation of a black dog is a omen of death. not surprised the black dog is lurking around an old folks home – watch out!

i’m so exhausted going to have a shower and then go hire a movie and rest up for the weekend of soundwave. actually excited about seeing HIM and placebo. and reliving the days of drinking chocolate milk and eating sour straps at glenhaven shops with my best friend – back in the day. not to mention sitting on her roof dressed in black, with her cd player faced out the window whilst sewing badges and buttons on our clothes, thinking we were sick as shit. reminiscing makes me realise just how much i have changed, and it makes me feel a little nostalgic. those days are long gone! although i still sometimes feel like that little 15 year old girl who wrote a lot of poetry and liked being alone, my hair is a bit better though.

ps – lemon detox diet going well except i am so tired and cannot concerntrate i’ve fixed up the grammer and spelling on this post 5 times.

peppermint chocolates

cinnamontoastandteaplease — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 09:34:42 +0000

i just got home from work, a pretty easy 6 hour shift working in dementia specific ward. i slipped up today! i ate a peach because this morning i was so hungry and did not expect to make it through the day. i also got off my bus a few stops early and walked around half and hour to work. i played bingo with the residents and the prizes were peppermint chocolates or freddo frogs, every single resident preferred to eat a shitty little peppermint chocolate than a freddo frog. i was fairly shocked and tried to talk a few of them into at least trying a freddo frog as they are pretty amazing but they kept declining and saying ‘no dear you have it’, mmm i wish. anyway, yes i’m obsessing about food related topics a little too much. about to go to the coles right now as i have run low on lemons, then going to bed early as i have work tomorrow morning at 6.30! every night after i finish drinking my required 5L of liquid i’m also then expected to drink a cup of herbal laxative tea, it tastes even worse than it sound…! anyway goodnight lovelies! x

sort of tastes a bit like shit

cheap-ass-tuesday

cinnamontoastandteaplease — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 07:10:10 +0000

day 2, um did everything i was supposed so. i don’t feel hungry, i think it’s the pepper, this morning i was really hungry for poached eggs on toast but once i drank the drink i felt fine, which is weird huh? right at this very moment after dropping my hypo-allergic brother to the doctors for his allergy shots, i think i might go to the movies. i’m not sure i’ve ever just sat through a movie without a frozen coke or something to nibble on. i also feel pretty tired today, but still happy, like smiley tired. oh i also have to cook dinner for my family, how unfair is that? xx

just got back from the movies with georgia and anika, i had one malteser and i feel like the worst person. couldn’t resist, the whole movie was about food. we saw it’s complicated, and it has revoked my undying love for john krasinski, aka jim from the office, the american one – such a babe.

i cannot stop thinking about food. i am so hungry. tomorrow will be death especially because i’m working an an afternoon shift. and i have to clean the kitchen right now. urgh. goodnight x

lemon detox day 1

cinnamontoastandteaplease — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 11:23:28 +0000

so today i was on a mission to buy this lemon detox diet. being the daughter of my mother i purchased the started kit from a chemist warehouse for the competitive price of $81.00 (most places sell the kit for $95). i took the pack home and opened it, in the kit is a book, sea salt, herbal tea, the syrup and this red pepper. i also stopped off at the fresh food market and bought quite a lot of lemons, i felt like crazy person. I made up the 2L batch of the liquid and put it in my fridge, pretty easy. can i also add at this point when looking at the tin that contains this special syrup the credibility of the diet in my estimation plummeted as the tin contains not a picture of a healthy looking athlete, or some lemons, but a picture of a quite sad looking moose drinking from what seems like a puddle of water, in a picturesque snowy little village complete with cottage. what a motivational, inspiring design to start my weight-loss endeavor.

anyway, minor motivational setback aside, i proceeded to read the instructions of the diet. every morning for 14 days I am supposed to drink 1L of warm water with 2 teaspoons of salt dissolved into it, so i quickly did that… it wasn’t too bad, i managed to drink the whole litre (apparently aids in digestion). then i drank two glasses of the lemon drink while sitting around my pool, it honestly didn’t taste too bad either, kind of like a marmalade flavoured drink – with a little kick (but then again this is coming from a girl who adds chilli powder to warm milo and will happily eat peanut butter and grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner…). i knew today i was going to feel all kinds of lethargy because i’ve really have gotten used to eating quite a lot food in one day. needless to say i planned on taking it easy today, watch a few non- food related dvds and read a book perhaps then going for my walk, but of course i get called into work to do a afternoon shift 3-9. i just got home and feel exhausted. so today i’ve made my way through 1L of salt water, 2L of lemon juice stuff and nearly 2L of water, i’m feeling pretty tired but not hungry yet. so that’s the first day down, 13 to go. only noted side effect so far is feeling like i need to burp a lot. oh ps my family think i’ve gone crazy, probably have.

on a side note the highlight of my day was hearing someone at work refer to an ‘i-phone’ as an ‘i-pod phone’ made me lol.

lemon detox diet – desperate!

cinnamontoastandteaplease — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 13:39:51 +0000

so it’s 12ish and i am not in bed, today was Valentine’s Day which i spent with some lovely girls, i didn’t feel sad or lonely for a second until i saw a couple making out in the car behind in me on the M2, i was secretly hoping that they would crash. but apart from that i felt pretty good, well i felt kind of numb and numb is okay with me! anyway because we are girls we started talking about dieting and all these different diets and ways of losing weight as i ate half a sticky date pudding, naturally. i have noticed i’ve put on a bit of weight, i have not been watching what i’ve been eating at all and on top of that drinking, smoking, hardly exercising and basically doing everything to abuse my body and my looks. i have been avoiding mirrors and avoiding shopping for clothes because i am in denial about my weight. so today after feeling ridiculously full i weighed myself and i was completely horrified. i could feel myself actually wanting to cry, but i held back the tears. i feel disgusting fat and uncomfortable. now i’m actually fat. so depressing. well i am actually not going to let myself feel this way for another day. i don’t have a goal weight, just the objective of feeling comfortable again.

so what am i going to do? well everyone has been weighing the pro’s and con’s of the lemon detox diet. i’m not really sure how it works but i’ll be purchasing it tomorrow from a chemist in kellyville (the only chemist in the hills district that stock it), along with a shitload of lemons. i’m going to attempt to do the diet/starvation for 14days. which is two weeks of only drinking water and this lemon, syrupy water drink. this will be challenging because i have soundwave and other shows coming up where i’m going to want to drink but honestly, who can have a whole lot of fun at this weight? i’ll just have to grit my teeth and bear it. i will also attempt to go for one 1hour walk a day with weights, with my mother. did i ever mention much much i loathe excercise?

finally! i am doing this for anyone else who has completely lost the motivation to look after themselves, for anyone boy or girl who knows that they could be a lot prettier and handsomer than they are right now, anyone who has kind of found themselves in a bit of a rut. for the people who always get told they have ‘such a pretty face’, for those of you who have ever been turned away from a certain japanese boutique clothing store located on oxford street who caters exclusively to hobbits and stickinsects because nothing comes in normal human size, quite frankly the clothes were shit anyway, but its the principal! (okay, i’m getting a little carried away). in conclusion i’m doing this for myself but hopefully this will inspire others to start feeling good again excetera, excetera. i am trying to remember that this feeling of complete fatness doesn’t have to be a permanent thing, and if i do something about it now, then i will feel a lot better about myself sooner. and the sooner the better. everyone goes through periods of just feeling horrible, lazy and fat not to mention unattractive. so here it goes, goodbye chocolate, toast, peanut butter, sour worms, dinner with friends, alcohol and redbulls and cigarettes!

the diet will be finished on the 1st of march, right in time for going back to uni. i feel so gross right now. but maybe this really gross feeling will be the motivation i need to do something about it. i’m really considering before and afters, wouldn’t that just be ridiculous? i’m not even sure if anyone is reading this, are you? anyway…

goodnight fatties xx

last day of winter

cinnamontoastandteaplease — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 23:14:28 +0000

i love days like this, where even though it is the middle of october it will rain endlessly and you cherish it for the last time before it starts to get ridiculously hot and i’ll start missing the cosines of winter.

so apart from getting all rugged up and going to uni today i decided to make cupcakes for my dad to take to work and my brother to take to school. I made them from scratch and but they didn’t turn out so great, i decided to make the icing from scratch too and i really wanted to use fresh strawberries to taste. so i heated some strawberries and sugar on the gas stove and added it to my mixture but half way through making it i realised we didn’t have enough icing sugar to get the consistency right. so i cheated the mixture and used to betty crocker pre-made icing to add texture then the colour wasn’t right so i ended up adding some food dye too. so much for making icing from scratch.. in the end they turned out okay, and my family approved.

the curse of the inverted family

cinnamontoastandteaplease — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:12:39 +0000

sometimes i question the decision my parents made to move to australia to raise me and my brother. i have grown up in an odd environment, without cousins or aunties or uncles or grandparents. grandparents day was always dreaded in primary school, i always had to chime with friends and their grandparents and never really feel that welcome. i think this is why i also have an irrational fear of old people. another thing that upsets me is that i have never met two of my own cousins, isam and kareem. or my cousin’s new baby, mohammad. this saddens me the more i think about it and generally try not to. so here are some photos of the cutest babies in the world, and hopefully i will see them soon and be able to give them cuddles and spoil them to make up for them not knowing me (yet)!

isam and kareem in italy! (please note chubby fingers)

kareem

manic monday

cinnamontoastandteaplease — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 07:00:57 +0000

i am really starting to loathe the end of semester rush, especially when the weather is so amazing and beautiful but yet there is a big cloud of hate following me around also known as the assessments i have not yet started. i know no matter how i try and tackle this problem it will only result in me leaving it all until the last minute and staying up all night with cans of redbull and mi goreng noodles as my only friends. i think i like the drama. assessments are so lonely. and dangerous. do you know how many times i’ve fallen asleep face down on my dad’s desk with my glasses still on my face, i usually work until a point where i collapse in the most violent manner that i could crush my glasses into my face and get little shards of glass in my eyes. oh the tragedy of tertiary education. and for what? to make it to summer holidays 6kgs heavier with a few distinctions? but on a slightly happier note, our class did get a one week extension for culture writing and textuality and i saw a seagull with one leg today. also, listening to laura marling in your bedroom and drinking tea is probably the best form of procrastination.